Remembering to look up when I'm feeling down

It has been way to long since I wrote my thoughts, I planned on blogging daily, but I find it difficult to find something new to say everyday when life becomes so repetative at times.

I think I've been loosing focus, unable to gather my thoughts and feelings. I have always had a hard time with feelings, I guess I can relate to a lot of men in that way, it's hard for me to cry when maybe that would be the best thing for me. I have a happy face that has become a part of my uniform when tragety has befallen me in my life, even though it's only a mask.

I am so thankful that if you look hard enough you can always find the strength to move forward no matter your circumstance. I have so many things to be thankful for! I have an amazing family, great friends, a roof over my head, food in my stomach and most of all a loving and increadably merciful God who has promised that I will never be given more than I can handle. Father help me remember to give you my burdens.

I'm thankful that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it and His grace is sufficient for me :)

Project 86

Trace the chalk and seize the day so
Those old habits never pass away
Commemorate the conception with
The children's debt the retribution
Deaf to self and mute to mind to find muddled wallowing nebulous blind
My crippled confidence chafed away
Without the answers I'm cast astray
My cloud's so thick that I can barely think so reveal to me deadsight deadsight
Trace the tree and the veil will flee me
And now I see with salty eyes
Consistent tragedy persisting in me
This disability's my soul's demise
Deaf to self and left to fry
Muddled wallowing nebulous blind
My crippled confidence is chafed away to stay
With the answers I'm pulled astray
The habits laced embrace me
With a cold, chaotic flinch
kiss of old deaths erase me
soft, subtle, inch by inch
Upon my face I lie
Mesmerized cauterized by the blemishes
Frail bandages
Without chance to change
Desperate to rectify imperative lest to die
Imminent reality on pace down glanced closed-faced
Consistent entrancement staring into empty space with an open wound to clean please cleanse me
Is this my time to feel
Is this my time to breathe
Is this my time to bleed
Change the season
Upon my face I lie
Mesmerized cauterized by the blemishes
Frail bandages
Without chance to change
Desperate to rectify imperative lest to die
Imminent reality on pace down glanced closed-faced
Consistent entrancement staring into empty space with an open wound decreeing please cleanse me

Is this my time to feel
Is this my time to breathe
Is this my time to bleed

Is this my time to feel
Is this my time to breathe
Is this my time to bleed
I'll never live without you
I'll never see without you
I'll never change without you
truesight.

New Horizons

Wow! What a beautiful day it was today. The sun was shinning bright and the sky was clear all day. It's still a little cold to feel like spring, but the animals love it.

I wonder what adventures await me over tomorrows horizon. I better get some sleep so I'm well rested and prepared for whatever lies ahead.

Insomnia

Mangled fragments of distant thoughts scattered through the corners of my mind. Tossing and turning, I'm unable to find rest.  

Today is a good day

Everyday we are given choices. We choose the attitude we have, we choose the mood we are in and we choose whether or not we will take responsibility for those choices or blame it on our circumstance. Well today I choose to have joy in whatever circumstance may come my way and I choose to see the blessings God has for me today. I choose to see the good in the bad and have faith that God has a plan in all of it.
Today is a good day
I will rejoice and be glad in it

GoaterZz

So I thought I would share some pictures of the goats that I hang out with. 

Hope

Hope Is what keeps us alive. 

Be gentle to me Hope

Little Moose

Well today was an adventure! Moose got neutered today so he's a little groggy and Bailey had to spend the day all by herself so she is more than a little hyper and I didn't sleep a wink last night so we are all a little weird today. I'm going to go veg the rest of the night and watch movies

3/16/2009

Is this battle that rages inside me the only future I'll ever know or is there something more? Something elusive, that I have yet to comprehend.

The life I imagine for myself feels forever at a distance just beyond my reach. I've let that feeling keep me in despair, but God is teaching me that I need to Love Bigger, Accept the things I don't understand. To trust Him completely and let the life He has for me be my motivation to keep striving and find joy in the journey He has for me.

I'm happy where I am and I choose to always look for Gods plan in everything. Even when things look hopeless God has a plan.

This is my time to breath